These are questions that I’ve asked myself in the past, and ones that have resurfaced of late, as my struggle to break my latest rut has kept me from taking serious moves. It has forced my thoughts to remain internal – a natural tendency for an introvert anyways, but one that feels impossible to break when you’re in the middle of that grind. And it has held my excitement for anything at bay. I’m simply asking myself, over and over, what should I do next?

That looks like it will hurt! A rut can feel the same. How do you climb out of one?

For me, the rut came on slowly, without me ever knowing. Maybe that’s the way it works for everyone? But I was going along the way I thought I wanted, but before I knew it, I was stuck. It started a little over a year ago, when I truly became a freelancer. I was so excited to join the working legions from the home office. It wasn’t that I had expected every minute to be a whirlwind – I knew my move was going to make (some)days a little longer, money a little tighter (at least at first) and stress levels more pronounced.

But I was really focused on lifestyle. I wanted the opportunity to travel on a whim, have days that I finish at noon and time to explore passions that I had outside of the workplace. I didn’t see any other option besides freelancing.

I still feel that way. The problem was, out of fear of making the next paycheck; out of concern to sell the next story; out of the struggle to sign the next business client, I found myself constantly in front of the computer, sitting alone at my desk. For those that work alone, you may know the feeling. At first, the jubilation of having no restraints is intoxicating as you break free of the work day. But after a while, you’re constantly looking for extra ways to interact with someone, besides the dog. Going to the coffee shop in the afternoon becomes a social affair. Getting groceries; an event. Every little reason to get out of the house becomes a must-have breather from the home walls.

When I first became a freelancer though, I had plans to travel, and I did. I found reasons to go home for two weeks, or drive my brother back from school or go hang out in San Francisco for fun. It was great – the lifestyle I was wanting to build. But then something happened. I could blame the winter weather, but I found myself constantly sitting in front of the computer. And this became even more troubling as I was often working on content that didn’t match my expectations or desires for when I first went out on my own. The fear of the short-term had clouded my long-term plans, and I became an anxiety filled mess, as I couldn’t get outside my own head. Should I quit, I constantly asked myself.

That’s when I realized I had hit a rut. I was there. I had become angry. My girlfriend tried to help, but that’s the funny thing about a rut, if you can’t find a way out, you can’t find happiness in anything else that isn’t that way out. It becomes of vector of struggle as everything you do for short-term cash or experiments only feed this annoyance that you haven’t found what you really want to do moving forward.

This rut vector became an all-encompassing center of my attention, only made worse because I worked at home, and sat around staring at the computer day-in, day-out.

Does this sound familiar? Maybe, maybe not. Everyone could have a different experience in how they end up in a rut, but I bet everyone has experienced such a hole before. I’m still working on climbing out, but I can tell you, simply by talking about it has improved my outlook greatly.

So I’m asking you, when you get stuck in a rut, what do you do? Experts always say, ‘go for a walk,’ ‘read a new book’ or ‘take a nap.’ But what do you do when your life suddenly seems at a standstill, and you have no idea where to turn? Please share in the comments below.

Today, as I was strolling down the sidewalk, I see a man about 50 yards ahead of me, with a huge smile on his face. And I could tell he had a smile because he was walking backwards. For some reason, this man was going the same direction as I was, but he was doing it backwards.

Sometimes it’s best not to follow directions, and go backwards for a day.

This was great fun for the kids that were hanging around the little park near where I live, as they saw this guy, laughed and started taking pictures. Can’t say I blame them, you don’t usually see someone strutting around NYC with his head in the opposite direction of where he’s going. But the entire time, he had a big grin on his face, and he just kept walking, looking back every once in a while to make sure he wasn’t going to smack into someone. It was a fun sight to behold.

Now I’m not sure why this guy decided to wake up this morning, and start walking backwards. But it says something about perspective. Maybe he needed a new perspective this morning, so he, literally, got it by walking the wrong way. Now he could see himself moving away from the LIC buildings, ignoring the jungle of skyscrapers that line the NYC skyline. Who knows what he saw as he stared in that direction. I know I would have seen something different, as I almost always walk east on that sidewalk instead of west. 

Although, I don’t know why he was doing this, there was no denying the big smile that he had on his face as he transversed the concrete. He was the only happy face, outside of the kids mocking him, that I saw this morning. That’s an interesting thought, isn’t it? The only person with a smile on his face was the man walking the wrong way? The one not concerned with going the clear route. The one not going the direction that everyone else is going. The one that says ‘you go your way, mine is better.’ And even if he doesn’t truly believe that this new perspective is the best way to get through NYC on a regular basis, today he undoubtedly learned something by not following the regular path.

And isn’t that why we always need that change of perspective from time-to-time? Isn’t that why we should seek opportunities to see that different angle in life? We get so stuck in our jobs. So set in our path to success. And so focused on what’s ahead of us, that we forget there’s another way to walk. There’s a million-and-one roads to riches. A billion roads to happiness. You just have to find the one that works for you.

So if you’re looking at your job, and can’t see a way to quit. If you’re accessing your career, and you feel you need a change. Or you’re evaluating a problem that doesn’t seem to have a solution, it’s probably just a need for a new perspective. Because even though you think there’s only one or two solutions to what you’re dealing with, there’s, no doubt, a hundred more options you never thought of or interacted with people who would provide that insight. That’s why you need to change your perspective, now more than ever. That’s why you need to walk backwards and smile.

What have you done recently to change your perspective? Let me know in the comments below.

Don’t let fear keep you from moving forward, but don’t run away from it, either.

For me, fear leads me to sit in front of the computer too much during the day, worried that if I move from my spot, my clients will all come calling. Without me there, they will grow angry and look for someone to replace me. Or the fear that funding will run out on current projects, which will force me to quickly find another one.

The funny thing about all this is of course, these are things that could happen. In fact, the second fear is something that will likely happen as clients do not ever last forever. But neither of them deserve the dinner that I constantly feed the fear, since as long as I control what I can control, nothing too terrible will happen to me. My clients know that I’ll respond to them as soon as I can. If clients do decide they need to pull funds, I know that I can work to find other projects. After all, I’ve done it before. So why do I decide to play into these fears so whole-heartedly?

I don’t know. I can’t answer it, myself. I think it’s because I give them credence everyday, that they continue to feed on itself. It’s that fear that continues to build and build and build, until I’m unable to change my behavior. By doing what I’m doing, I allow that fear to continue to creep in.

Don’t get me wrong, some fear is good. For instance, the fear that you might not do well on the project will drive you to do the best that you can. But when it gets out of line, and you end up starving yourself of food or sleep, in order to get a few more minutes with it, then maybe the fear has overtaken the situation.

And that’s how I evaluate my fears now. Do they truly help my current plans? Are they a driving factor behind my growing success? Or are they hurting my potential by forcing me to focus on things I wouldn’t normally focus on? It’s not easy, but better than letting them run amok.

The same could be said for the fear of quitting your job. If the fear of quitting is because you don’t want to give the presentation, or you think your boss expects too much out of your skills, then it sounds like fear is keeping you from focusing on what really matters, which is doing a great job. And your fear that you will fail is making you do a better job, and you will find it rewarding in the end. But if your fear is because you don’t think you can make it on your own or find a new job or find something you’re more suited for what you truly enjoy doing, then you should reevaluate the fear. Because, in that case, often that fear is holding you back from your future and your true calling in life.

Use fear to drive you. Don’t allow fear to keep you from doing what you truly want to do. The difference will define how you move along in your career and life.

As a freelancer, there’s a certain element of his speech that touches my heart. One of the main reasons I chose to move out of the 9-5 workforce was in part, as Foster calls it, “water.” The water that surrounded me included the travel to work, the constant need to try and appease someone else’s vision, the fight for the slightest recognition, the fear of slightest failure, the need to stay in one spot all day long, the ever-glow of the computer that I couldn’t escape and on, and on and on. I felt I needed to work for myself, and find ways to battle this “water” that was killing me softly.

And while Wallace’s speech tries to describe what a person’s life who’s graduating college will be like as they head off into that 9-5, there’s relevance no matter what you do. I chose to quit my job because I wanted to reduce the amount of unneeded water in my tank. But it didn’t eliminate it. In fact, some new problems arose, while similar issues continued to fester. And it’s never a good time to head to the grocery store after work, no matter what you do for a living.

Yet, I can’t help but think back on what Wallace said (Not sure if it’s in the video, but you can read his full speech here):

 If you’re automatically sure that you know what reality is and who and what is really important — if you want to operate on your default-setting — then you, like me, will not consider possibilities that aren’t pointless and annoying. But if you’ve really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. [Emphasis Added[ It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars

Part of my interpretation of his words is that everyone will have these issues, these annoyances, these distractions. It’s how you react to them that really makes you who you are, and how creative, kind and imaginative you can be. And, although, I have those annoyances, I’m no longer stuck thinking that the solution is just another version of the problem. Meaning, I don’t need the 9-5 to help me fix my issues. My new version also has concerns and I’m constantly looking to fix them. Whether it’s still sitting too long in front of the computer, or handling client questions or whatever. There’s always something that comes up, but now I see options that I never saw before I quit my job.

So this is for those who have contemplated a similar move. A move to remove yourself from the typical workforce, the corporate setting, the drab decorated building; don’t let minor concerns keep you imprisoned. Also, don’t think, just because you have left your job that the problems will fade away. You need to figure out in what setting can you create better than any other because that will allow you, above all, to more clearly see through the mess that’s everyone’s life. It’ll show you what’s most important and keep “problems” in perspective.

It’s dependent on you and only you to decide what will make you happy. But don’t shy away from the unknown out of fear because the water around you is only becoming more invisible if you continue on that path. And once you can’t acknowledge it, your true pain – or sadness – will set in.

“But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race” — the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.”

 Fight for the freedom that matters. Fight for your consciousness.

Are you following someone else’s path online? It could doom your success.

Look at the world of online business advice, which is what this blog would fall into. You have two main strategy drivers: 1. How To Get Rich Doing As Little As Possible 2. What You’re Not Doing, Which Is Why You’re Not Rich. Then leaders of these various opinions focus, often, on a single subject within the idea. Some will talk about creating a new business using one of the strategies, while others will talk about content strategy, SEO, social media and on and on and on. But at the heart of what is being said can often be filed in one of these two ideas.

And this leads to the lack of new or intriguing content. This leads to a bunch of success from the person who originally coined or first successfully marketed the idea, then some great success from the early adopters, followed by little to minor success from the laggards. Those bringing up the rear often try to expand on these original ideas, but by the time they do so, it has already been stretched for all its worth. You can still find nuggets of success by presenting the idea in a whole new way, but in the end, you’re presenting an old idea. The reason the people in the back of the trend struggle is because they’re not presenting anything new.

But this is how the advice works. If you follow A, then you will get to B. But once so many people follow A there’s no room on B. So in order to find room, you need to get to C, but you will need a new path. You see this issue being pressed by even those who first developed the original ideas, seemingly, admitting to their readers or followers that you should use my idea but not my plan. Yaro Stark, a very successful and long-time blogger at Entrepreneus-Journey.com recently showed this slight change:

My point in the third video of the “series” was that you can copy techniques and solutions to problems at a micro level, yet at a macro level your strategy has to be unique to your goals and situation.

I added on to this the concept that you can never truly copy an idea as you will always implement it differently because you are a different person.

There’s no such thing as a new idea, yet there is no such thing as a perfect duplication of variables either, so every implementation of an idea is always new.

But so many of us are trying to carry out ideas, that we lose focus on the path and what we’re trying to sell or to think. And maybe Stark is right, maybe there’s no new ideas. Yet, unless you get on a different path, you will never know.

And that’s a scary thought, as starting a business or a blog or anyone that wants to sell content or products online. But focusing on what others have done as opposed to what you want to do will make that scary path even less likely. Use other’s ideas as examples, and implement the tools that you think will work for you. Don’t be beholden to what others have said. Don’t repeat what they have written. The true success won’t be found until you discover that voice that separates you from the heard, and allows you to stand out and say ‘Listen to me.’ Once you’re there, then, who knows, maybe others will be copying your ideas.

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